Skip to main content

To Go Gray or Not, That is the Question

Where are you on the issue of going gray? Are you firmly for, against, or ambivalent?

Before Me, My Hair and I came out, I thought the most risqué piece in the book was Alex Kuczynski's "And Be Sure to Tell Your Mother," about, well, pubic hair. But once it came out and the New York Post interviewed contributor Anne Kreamer on her decision some years ago to go gray, I realized this was a much more fraught issue than I'd imagined.  It has to do whether whether we're going to age naturally or intervene in the process - and what the costs of each decision are, financially, emotionally, and culturally.

My own story: my essay in the anthology is called, "No, I Won't Go Gray," but soon after the book went into final production, I changed my mind. My hair dresser mistakenly dyed my hair black - it had been a soft brown, close to the original - and after a few weeks of trying to live with it, I decided I couldn't bear to go through what's necessary to get it back to brown - months of highlights, aluminum foil in the hair, money and time - and I decided to take the going gray challenge.

Ten months later, there's a bunch of gray and still some brown. And I'm still not sure where I'm going or my hair is going, but I'm OK with not knowing. With waiting to see. With giving up the need I felt to color. And I've been heartened by all the Pro-Gray women who've posted on various sites.

Here's an abridged version of my essay in the book from Huffington Post, "No, I Won't Go Gray."

Visit the book's Facebook page and share your Pro-Gray/Con-Gray story, and/or send it to me in an email, to ElizabethBenedictOK@gmail.com, and I'll write up the results. Best if your story is 250 words or less.  (Please note the OK after my name in the email.)

And if all this talk of hair makes you anxious, you're not alone.

If you're curious about the book, read us in paperback, on Kindle, Nook, or your favorite ebook platform. And follow us on Twitter: @HairBookEliz


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Our Mothers' Gifts in Quarantine

In honor of Mother's Day this year, I invited the contributors to my anthology, What My Mother Gave Me: 31 Women on the Gifts That Mattered Most, which came out in 2013, to think about any gifts from their mothers that are helping them get through the COVID-19 pandemic. It's a time when, for the most part, people cannot visit with their families, and when those of us whose mothers are gone may be missing them more acutely because of how unsettled the world is. Four contributors to the anthology have contributed thoughts. I'm honored to present them here. For myself, I think about my mother's incredible kindness, her generosity of spirit and love of people. I try to practice the first two and feel comforted by the last and try to comfort others as we all stumble through this terrible time. To purchase the book, please visit the Algonquin/Workman website before May 25th for a 20% discount. At check-out, enter the code MOTHERSDAY20 -- and voilà.

Ingrid Nilsen raves about Me, My Hair and I

Beauty and fashion guru Ingrid Nilsen raves in her NOVEMBER FAVORITES video about Me, My Hair and I.   Take a look at minute 10! Thanks, Ingrid! Want to buy the book - an original paperback, published by Algonquin? Try Amazon or your favorite indie. Some of mine are Porter Square Books and Politics and Prose . 

"Let it Be" by Cordelia Manning

I'm delighted to post this piece on "going gray" in response to a public invitation to readers of Me, My Hair and I: Twenty-seven Women Untangle an Obsession. Reader Cordelia Manning sent in this lovely piece and titled it "Let It Be." It's more evidence that our hair is a deeply personal public/private matter that has the power to make us reflect on our entire lives. The wonder is that Cordelia Manning has done it so succinctly here. Thank you! "I was a much adored child: first grandchild on both sides; first child of my parents; first niece of all my aunts and uncles. I was the one they had all waited for and I was showered with love and attention. Even later, after my siblings and cousins arrived, I was the first and eldest, the special one. "I like to think all that attention was wonderful, nurturing, but in fact they were all always fussing over me. My hair was too long, short, or thick, my skin was too fair and freckled, my eyebrows too h